-Albert Brooks
Maybe it's just the fact that there's nothing else to write about right now, but the Miami papers seem to have this obsession with Miguel Cabrera's waistline...but then again, the Dolphins/Hurricanes are between camps, the Heat/Panthers have shut it down for the offseason. That leaves the Marlins and that also leaves Miggy and his Pringles.
The only problem is that they're not wrong. Here's Miggy in 2003:
And here's the BEFORE picture, except that it's from four years in the future, where there are no flying cars unless he elects to leave his feet for anything. Also in a moment of unintentional comedy, the navigational direction for said photo gallery? "Click To View Larger Image" And it is indeed:
And while the Herald and the Sentinel have been attempting to stage an intervention all this week, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen-- a friend of Cabrera's-- has also staged an intervention. As only Ozzie can: "When you're not hitting .340 with 40 home runs, they're going to call you a fat boy from Venezuela."
I just like to think it's all a helping hand to make Blog Sidekick look more to scale when he dons his Marlins jersey. I'll leave it up to the reader to decide whether that was a gratuitous pot-meet-kettle fat joke or me showing jealousy that there's never been an All-Star with my last name so I could get a legit badass jersey (not one of those awful fake custom dealies for three bills that cross the line of fandom into Xbox create-a-player alternate reality) with my own name on it.
To date in the last three decades, Dophins backup WR Marcus Mann came the closest, but he didn't make it out of preseason alive.
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